“Hey there muscly arm, wanna popsicle, they’re in my basement”  

^{Photo Courtesy of PlainOldBob.Com}

Who would have guessed a 50-year-old magician, most likely living in his parents basement, would have turned out to be a pedophile?  Long Island's self-proclaimed “Favorite Magician”, Robert “Bob” Infantino is now Long Island’s most detested photographer. The magician/photographer/creepy old guy from Central Islip was charged with three counts of second-degree unlawful surveillance.  This jack-of-all-trades recently lured two girls, 10 and 14 years old, into his “studio” with promises of a free photo shoot.  

While the two girls were getting changed in the dressing room, they noticed a box in the corner of the room. Before the girls arrived, clearly using the finest in stealth technology, Infantino set up a camcorder in the dressing room (in the form of a blatant wooden box) hoping to catch some skin as the two girls got ready for their photo shoot. The two girls along with their mother noticed the ridiculously out of place-wooden box/camcorder combo and immediately called the police.  

The Suffolk County Police, who specialize in arresting meatheadswho’ve had a few too many Coors Lights before they get behind the wheel, were out of their element. After mustering up all the brainpower of their bloated $100,000 dollar salaries, they arrested Infantino for being the creep he is. Coming as a shock to nobody, Infantino’s seized computer was saturated with hardcore child and kiddie porn (who knew there was a difference?). The sexual tyrannosaurus is being held on $180,000 bail, which based on the average salary of a magician/photographer means he will be off the streets for the next 22,000 years.  This may come as a disappointment for those of you who have penned in Infantino’s scheduled performances at the “Okey Dokey” in Oakdale and the Ground Round (that place still exists) in Levittown. These performances were sure to be revealing. (Get it!?)  

And now, for some magic...

Bob Infantino's "Family Fun Show" DVD Promo

So remember kids, next time you hear a humming box in your dressing room and a 50 year old with a bad comb-over is lurking around, just run. Run as fast as you can.  

And as always, Stay Classy Long Island.